Barb Caffrey's Blog

Writing the Elfyverse . . . and beyond

My friend Jeff dies in CO at age 47

with 2 comments

Folks, this is the last post I wanted to write, and it’s taken me nearly a full day to write it since I heard the news.  My good friend Jeff died in Colorado last evening; he was only 47.  (I’m withholding his last name for now at the wishes of his family, who haven’t all been informed.)

Jeff was a deeply spiritual man, someone who followed the teachings of Confucious and appreciated Buddhism as well as Christianity.  He was principled, ethical, interesting, witty, and extremely intelligent . . . and he was my best friend for six years.

I don’t have the words to express the depth of my feelings here; as I said in my previous post “Life, the Universe, and the Unexpected,” Jeff even being in the hospital tested my faith significantly.  His death will test it even more, especially as he’d improved  a great deal in the past ten days.

I called Jeff every single day since his mind and memories returned; I gave him encouragement, I told him how much I cared, and I told him I saw a bright future for him, one I hoped I’d always be a part of . . . I know he wanted that future, and I know he valued our friendship greatly, as I valued his in return.

On Saturday, we were supposed to talk around 7:45 p.m. his time; he had a stroke around 7 his time.  (I didn’t find this information out until later this evening; before, I’d been told he’d passed away by his brother, who had few details.)  He’d been sent to a long-term care facility, which means the doctors at the hospital he’d been at believed Jeff was on the mend — they’d never have sent him, else.   That care facility sent him to the local hospital in Fort Collins, then he went back to the specialist hospital in Loveland, where he’d been before . . . they attempted emergency brain surgery but it didn’t work.

Jeff died at 3 a.m. Colorado time, early Sunday morning.

Funeral arrangements are pending at this time.

________________

Note:  I will honor my friend’s memory as best I’m able; Jeff always believed in me, my writing, my music, he loved ELFY, he was a big fan of KEISHA’S VOW and AN ELFY ABROAD (both of those in progress), loved CHANGING FACES and THE GIFT (both also in progress).  I believed in him, too; he was a good writer, he was extremely creative, and he was an outstanding friend.  I will miss him profoundly.

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Written by Barb Caffrey

November 14, 2011 at 2:04 am

2 Responses

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  1. Barb, I have come to “know” you through your blogs. I have no doubt you were an awesome friend to Jeff. You have my deep sympathy in this sudden and unexpected loss. Kathie Solie, Racine

    Kathie Solie

    November 14, 2011 at 8:38 am

    • Thank you, Kathie. I appreciate that very much.

      Jeff was a very kind person, a very intelligent person, someone with ethics and morals and values. If he hadn’t lived states away, I’d have already found a way to get out there and visit, but because he did live so far away, I still hadn’t found that way. I told him on Friday, when everything seemed very good (he was healing, he was actually complaining a little which I found a heartening sign because it meant he had the energy to complain) that I would find that way. For him not to give up hope . . . that even though I didn’t know how I’d do it, I knew I would.

      Jeff’s friend, a very kind gentleman named Jeff Means (he was my friend Jeff’s POA, and both J. Means and his wife Leslie are feeling terrible also), told me that he believed me — that I would’ve found that way. And he’s sure that my friendship with Jeff was extremely important and valuable to Jeff as well as me . . . now, somehow, I’m going to have pray instead to be able to find the way to get to his memorial service, whenever it’s called.

      I’d given Jeff encouragement and support every day since he returned to himself — about ten days ago, now, when he could take phone calls and be understood and knew who he was, who I was, what was going on in the world, etc. I called every day. I did what I could and I told him to “keep hope alive,” that he mattered very much to me, and that I would do whatever I could to help him. (I just wished I could’ve done more.)

      I do believe there’s a much better world that waits for us after this one ends, and I’m sure Jeff is there, along with my late husband Michael, my grandma, and many other friends and family members. Jeff should be feted there — treated as the hero he was, for battling back so strongly despite being stricken with a terrible infection that had hit every organ in his body — and I’m trying to see this as a good thing, even though I will miss him very, very much.

      Bless you for caring, Katie. *Hugs*

      Barb Caffrey

      November 14, 2011 at 9:50 am


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