In It for the Long Haul
Folks, over the past few days, I’ve been working on CHANGING FACES (amidst some work on edits). This isn’t easy, as I’d hoped to be done by now…as nearly every regular reader of my blog probably knows.
However, I’m in it for the long haul. Which means I’m going to keep going, keep striving, keep thinking, and keep working, for as long as it takes.
Do I have moments where I wonder what I’m doing? Of course I do.
Do I wonder if all this effort is going to matter in the end? Of course I do.
Still, I have to keep doing it…or I won’t be me.
I’m also reminded of something my late husband Michael told me about his own writing. We were talking about fame, and fortune, and whether or not we’d ever find that as writers–cynics that we were, we figured it probably wasn’t ever going to happen.
Then he said something rather surprising. He told me, “The universe knows what I’ve done. I’m satisfied with that.”
I figured this was the Zen Buddhist in him, at the time. But since his passing, I’ve often wondered about this.
Do we create merely out of ego? Or do we create because we must, or we won’t be ourselves? And does it matter to the universe that we were here, that we did our best, that we tried to create something rather than just take up space to no purpose?
I don’t know the answer to that. But I do know that my husband was a wise man. And I want to believe he was right, even though he didn’t get enough time to finish his stories the way he wanted.
So…I’m in it for the long haul. I will persist, and I will keep trying as hard as I can, as long as I can, and work as much as I can to finish CHANGING FACES and make it the book I know it can be.
Because that’s what matters to me, and I hope eventually it may matter to the universe as well.