Barb Caffrey's Blog

Writing the Elfyverse . . . and beyond

Dealing with Disappointment, Part the Nth

with 14 comments

Folks, I know I’ve written about dealing with disappointment before. It’s one of those fundamental things that everyone has to face from time to time; we will be disappointed in something, even if it’s something tangential to us like the performance of our favorite sports team. (I’m looking at you, Milwaukee Brewers.)

Right now, I’m feeling discouraged, disappointed, however you want to put it, in nearly every aspect. And it’s hard to create that way; it’s hard to even function.

My energy level is not there, and I’m fighting hard to get it back. (Yes, my doctor knows about this. I get to see her soon.) My drive is not there, either…it’s almost as if I’m having a life crisis (I won’t say “mid-life crisis,” as I have no idea how long anyone will live, much less me).

So, what can I do about it?

Mostly, I remind myself that today may be bad, yesterday may have been bad, too, but tomorrow can still be different.

Yeah, I may never be known as a writer. (I knew that when I got into this field.) All I can do is control what I can, which is to write the books I feel compelled to write, keep working on my craft, and hope I touch at least a few folks with my stories so they’ll maybe remember them past the moment they’re read and consumed.

So, even though today’s one of those days that turning my face to the wall seems like the right action, I’m not going to do it.


Instead, I’m going to keep trying, even if it’s slow; even if I have to rest more; even if I need to take more breaks; even if I have to adjust my diet again and cut out every processed food (I hope I don’t have to go that far, but it may come to that)…and I’m going to try to keep my friends in the loop, ’cause that’s important.

So, I deal with disappointment, roughly, by trying to get through it and remembering we all have days like this.

And so long as I keep trying, I cannot fail…because I refuse to allow myself to fail.

How do you deal with it? What tips and tricks would you like to share?

Tell me in the comments.

Written by Barb Caffrey

April 24, 2017 at 6:39 pm

14 Responses

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  1. Keep moving. I use the shark philosophy–move or die. They get their O2 swimming and can’t stop even to sleep (unless they find a super-saturated O2 area called a shark bar. How awesome is that idea?) But I had the theory before we knew about shark bars.

    Move or die. Keep moving toward the goal.


    April 24, 2017 at 6:48 pm

  2. I sometimes think the path of a writer holds more disappointments than any other. How do I deal with it? Much the same as you do! It usually works. 🙂


    April 25, 2017 at 5:08 am

    • Thanks, Annabelle. 🙂 We do what we do, and we keep trying. Some days it feels like I’m tilting at windmills, but hey…maybe that windmill needed some tilting at, for all I know. 😉

      Barb Caffrey

      April 25, 2017 at 5:01 pm

  3. I’m sorry you’re feeling down from disappointment. I hope it gets better for you soon and here’s a hug. ❤️

    Usually when I’m down with disappointment, I let it run its course for a while and do the minimum of what’s required of me. A day or two, or even more depending on the intensity, then I try to move on and think of the brighter side, albeit at a slower pace than a full throttle. I try to think of the reason why I started to do whatever in the first place; like as a hobby novelist, I’d try to remember why I want to write (because I want to read the story and see how it ends). I realise it might be different from being a published writer, but hopefully it helps. 🙂


    April 25, 2017 at 9:47 am

  4. Get well soon! You are a fighter and a great inspiration. Keep ROCKING!!!

    Sadaf Siddiqi

    April 25, 2017 at 10:34 am

    • Thanks, Sadaf. We’re trying to figure out what’s going on here…I promise, I’ll keep trying. (That wall is just too boring, y’know?)

      Barb Caffrey

      April 25, 2017 at 5:00 pm

      • You are a rockstar lady! ⭐

        Sadaf Siddiqi

        April 26, 2017 at 10:10 am

  5. Barb, I’m sorry you’re dealing with disappointment and feeling like giving up right now. This, too, shall pass. Look, there’s disappointment everywhere and every single person deals with disappointment. I know it sucks and I’m sorry.

    What do I do when I’m feeling disappointed? I make a list of 5 good things in my life. I flip the negative into a positive. If that doesn’t work, I watch my favorite tv shows, movies or listen to my favorite music.

    I know what you mean by disappointment stifling your creative side. It sounds like you need to refill your spirit. Go for a walk, go to the library and check out books on a topic that brings you joy.

    Chin up, Barb! The Brewers won a game. 😉

    N. N. Light

    April 25, 2017 at 11:06 am

    • Yep. The Brewers won last night, which is a good thing. 🙂

      I’m happy to be able to keep going, Mrs. N. I’m just tired, and tired of being tired…but every day’s a new adventure, for good or ill, and it doesn’t always _have_ to be ill. (Right?)

      Barb Caffrey

      April 25, 2017 at 4:59 pm

  6. Thanks for your honesty, Barb. Every day offers new hope. When I get back from vacation, I really do want to get together with you for that long overdue cup of coffee!! all the best! Kathie

    Kathie Solie


    April 25, 2017 at 11:07 am

    • Well, you know me, Kathie. 🙂 I am honest to a fault, sometimes. 😉

      Enjoy your vacation! 😀

      Barb Caffrey

      April 25, 2017 at 4:58 pm

  7. […] written about disappointment before. (Many times, in fact, with my most recent example being here.) But it seems to be a good time to write about it again, and I have a different take on […]

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