Barb Caffrey's Blog

Writing the Elfyverse . . . and beyond

Archive for December 23rd, 2017

Quick and Dirty Holiday Survival Guide

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Folks, I hope you will enjoy your holidays. Whatever you celebrate, I hope you’ll do so to the fullest, as that’s the way to get past the other feelings this season can sometimes engender–despair, frustration, unhappiness, and strife.

But if you’re like me, and tend to run into those last four things at the holidays in greater amounts than the rest, here’s a quick holiday survival guide.

First, make sure to take time for yourself. No matter what errands you need to do (or what gifts you need to buy, or food to make, etc.), you can’t do them well if you don’t rest a bit here and there, or at minimum try to recenter yourself as you go about all of your various holiday activities.

Second, if a family member or friend upsets you, try to let it roll off your back. (Sometimes you can’t, but in those situations, state your case firmly and move on.) Don’t let yourself get enmeshed in arguments if you can help it, as arguments at this time of year seem to be much worse than at any others (perhaps because we in the Western World seem to know this is supposed to be a time of joy, happiness, and goodwill toward all men and women, so when it doesn’t happen it may feel worse).

Third, if you are feeling down, don’t swallow it. Go ahead and let yourself feel it. At least for a little while.

Then, after you’ve fully felt whatever it is, tell yourself firmly, “Self, I’ve felt that. I understand.”

And go about your business anyway. (This last was one of my late husband’s Zen tricks, and it works.)

The reason you need to feel it has more to do with refusing to censor (or censure) yourself. But the reason you feel it for a short time, and then go about and do whatever you were going to do anyway, is that you don’t let your feelings derail you.

So, feel ’em, but don’t let ’em consume you. (Clear as mud, probably, but it’s the best I can do.)

Anyway, these are my three quick and dirty tips that may — just may — help you survive the holidays in one piece.

What are your holiday tips? (Tell me about them in the comments!)

Written by Barb Caffrey

December 23, 2017 at 9:39 pm

Posted in holiday stuff

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