Barb Caffrey's Blog

Writing the Elfyverse . . . and beyond

Sunday Meditation: Learning to Let Go

with 3 comments

It’s no secret that over the years I’ve had a hard time letting go of things, good and bad. The best I can do with certain things is agree that I’m going to go on with my memories intact, and do the best I can with them. With my late husband’s death, that’s the level best I can do — letting go is not an option, because that would also let go of all my hopes, dreams, aspirations, and anything else positive that I still wish to obtain.

But maybe I can let go of how angry I am that he died too early. (I’m not angry at him. I’ll never be angry there.) And maybe I can let go of some of the nonsense I saw immediately after my husband died, including some of the rudest comments any widow could ever get. (Including one idiot who said that I would be just fine because I was young, and could still remarry. Um, what?)

So I’m not great with letting go, but I’m working on it.

This becomes more imperative with other things in my life, though. Things I regret doing, that I cannot change now. People I wish who had been different, or better, or less toxic; again, I can’t change that now either. And things that frustrate the Hell out of me…again, if it’s not an ongoing occurrence, why waste any more time on it?

So just for today, I’m going to do my best to let go of all the negative emotions I feel and focus instead on whatever good I can find in the midst of this pandemic, including the love of friends and family who’ve stayed in my life (not to mention good books and good music).

While I know it’s going to be a work-in-progress, I have to do what I can to keep going and give myself a chance to find happiness. Or at least fulfillment. Or peace. Or all of the above.

If you are like me, and you need to let go, try to tell yourself, “Just for today…” and see what happens. (Then do let me know about how it went for you in the comments, OK? I care.)

3 Responses

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  1. HI Barb.
    I am one of the worst at letting go, nursing grudges, holding onto insults, even still angry with folk I got the better of. Vengeful, brooding and all the sour stuff which goes with it.
    It’s wrong, I know that.
    One day the toxicity may drain away, I keeping on trying, own worst enemy on the subject.


    May 25, 2020 at 6:33 am

    • Sometimes I wonder if it’s the observer in us, that we have to have as writers, that keeps us frustrated like this, Roger. But I know that so long as we fight our worst tendencies, we are not ruled by them either. 🙂

      Anyway, we’ll both keep up the fight. (And best to your wife!)

      Barb Caffrey

      May 25, 2020 at 6:32 pm

      • You have a good point there, and then, I speak for myself, is another battle.
        Not to give way to the sin of arrogance of viewing the large portions of the population as ignorant.
        As Islam observers the important Jihad is the one within.
        Thanks for your best wishes, passed on to my wife


        May 26, 2020 at 2:23 am

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