Barb Caffrey's Blog

Writing the Elfyverse . . . and beyond

Growing Pains

with 8 comments

I bet you, like me, thought that once you became an adult, you’d be done with growing pains.

Unfortunately, that isn’t the case. Because things continue to happen, regardless of your age and experience, that broaden you — or don’t — and you can’t help but feel pain during these experiences.

You may be wondering why I’m writing this. I will admit that I am frustrated, upset, worried, have been sick for most of the past week, and am tired of 2020. But that’s not all of it…that’s just a part.

Mostly, I am wondering if there will be a day where I can hug my family members again. Or a day where I can greet a good friend with a hug or even a kiss (on the cheek).

Because one of my best friends came up with Covid-19, I now can’t visit her even though she’s successfully — as far as I can tell — gone through the 14-day quarantine. The fact is, I am around both of my parents daily. They feel the risk is now too great to see her, and if I picked her, I would not only have to move out of my home (as I share it with family), I’d not be able to see my family at all.

Such are the problems of 2020.

In addition, the guy I like lives in a different country. I don’t have any idea if I am going to be able to visit him anytime soon. This has put a strain on our developing relationship, and makes me wonder if we have it in us for the long haul.

And while yes, there are still good things going on in the world despite the pandemic, it’s all these frustrating things that are on my mind.

As my counselor put it a while ago, “It’s social distancing. It’s not supposed to be social isolation.”

Sometimes I wonder how well I’m doing with that, that’s all.

Anyway, I hope you all are staying safe, healthy, and sane…and are reading some great books. (I hope to talk about one such book soon, Leo Champion’s HUNTRESS OF THE STREETS. But that’s for another day.) Let me know how you’re doing in the comments…please?

Written by Barb Caffrey

November 16, 2020 at 7:56 am

8 Responses

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  1. Isolating. Isolated. I’m an introvert so it’s not nearly as hard on me. But my critique group that used to meet weekly at a restaurant has only had 2-3 chances to meet in public since March. We email and use Zoom, but it’s not the same. Still, it’s better than complete isolation. And I attend a weekly book club via Zoom every Wed night (there’s a link on my website’s homepage if anyone’s interested). I’ve heard a lot of complaints about writer’s block during this time. People can’t write because they need that social interaction, and because the stress of it all, and a hundred other reasons. I’ve been writing more than ever before. I finished two books this year and I’m kneed deep in another. Have 3 ready to go for next year. And I’ve revamped my website, ramped up my newsletter and taken advantage of swaps and events on StoryOrigin. Mostly because I’ve had time to focus. I’m not going *anywhere* these days. Am I happy? Professionally, yes. Socially, no. I miss my friends and my family. We’re doing Zoom or Discord for Thanksgiving dinner — but it will really be a snack time and we hope for all of us to get together. Kind of funny. Most families are used to “discord” at that time of year. 😉 Hoping this is over soon and life can not return to normal but to a better version of the entire world.

    Kayelle Allen

    November 16, 2020 at 8:15 am

    • I hope you’re right, Kayelle. And I envy your ability to make lemonade out of very sour lemons.

      Barb Caffrey

      November 16, 2020 at 9:41 pm

  2. Hi Barb.
    Sorry to read about the burdens this year has placed upon you.
    There have been many challenges and trials faced and each one (ignoring the self-inflicted nonsense of the fellow in The Whitehouse) are heavy indeed.
    I have always been a solitary sort so it hasn’t hit me too hard. That said I am upset for my poor wife Sheila who through a combination of health issues and Covid has had similar experiences to you.
    These are indeed times which test the resolve and the spirit.
    I wish you feel and hoping the clouds and fogs clear for you so you may reach the ‘sunny uplands’.
    Best wishes


    November 17, 2020 at 5:23 am

    • Thank you so much, Roger. And do give your wife my best regards. 🙂

      Sometimes I wonder if every time humans have lived upon the earth, that we’ve found a way to “try men’s souls.” (Not to mention women’s souls. And non-binary people’s souls, too, for that matter.) We certainly do find new and exotic ways to cause trouble for ourselves, in addition to the non-man-made stuff (like Covid-19).

      The good news about this year is, I’ve been able to survive it. I’ve also picked up a couple of new clients who I devoutly hope stay with me, and the existing clients have also kept me busy. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, and I’m very glad to have it.

      That said, I probably should rejoice in the fact that no one in my immediate family has died of Covid. A few people I’ve known, including my sister’s ex-father-in-law, and one of her past boyfriend’s fathers, have died. And I’ve been aware of others in the community that have been ill, or worse, who have died…knowing that this is all much, much worse than it had to be is what makes it so very frustrating.

      Anyway, I have hope that I will write again, and soon. The fact that I can write a bit easier and smoother with regards to my blogs, even if they’ve mostly been depressing (sorry ’bout that!), means that I may be getting to the point I can finally finish that Elfyverse short story I’ve been teasing you all with. 0:-)

      Anyway, thank you so much for your kind words, Roger. I truly appreciate them.

      Barb Caffrey

      November 18, 2020 at 2:42 pm

      • Hi Barb.
        It’s good to read that there have been good things in your life too.
        Since I replied to you we have heard from our one daughter Clare that her partner Jase has contracted Covid, although so far it appears to just be taking away his sense of taste and smell and Clare appears to be handling things in her usual ordered approach.
        We hope things improve soon. There is always Hope, it’s the factor which sees us through our turmoil of Human history.
        You take care Barb and keep on keeping on.


        November 19, 2020 at 3:48 am

      • Thanks, Roger. Best of luck to your daughter and her partner. I hope all will be well.

        Barb Caffrey

        November 19, 2020 at 10:58 pm

      • Thank you Barb


        November 20, 2020 at 3:21 am

      • You’re most welcome.

        Barb Caffrey

        November 20, 2020 at 7:51 am

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