“Writing After Widowhood” Essay Is Up…

Folks, author and editor Deborah J. Ross asked me, a while back, if I’d be willing to write an essay for her about the differences between writing before my husband Michael died, and after. I called this essay “Writing After Widowhood,” and it is up now at her blog. Here are a few excerpts, though I do hope you’ll go over there and read it…then let people know, far and wide, about it.

(In particular, if you can leave a comment at her blog, do. I am all thumbs today, and can’t seem to get Blogger to accept my profile for love or money, meaning I can’t even comment over there. This is very frustrating. So if you can do it instead, that would be great.)

Here’s a bit of what I remember about writing before widowhood, mind:

Anyway, when Michael was alive, we wrote some short stories together despite having very different writing styles. We could do this because we’d heard Eric Flint, in 2002, discuss how he collaborated with other authors. It was all about communication, Flint said, “Also, if you could check your ego at the door, that would help immensely.”

That wasn’t all Michael did, mind you. He edited for me, as I edited for him. He and I talked about our stories for many hours a day, every day of the week, a great gift…and he made sure to do all the things a good husband does for his wife without prompting—and without fanfare.

My quote there is my best remembrance from 2002. That comment from Eric Flint was made at a gathering of Baen Barflies (or Barfly gathering) in July of 2002 in Chicago to the best of my recollection. It was only a few, short weeks after our marriage, and it made a huge impression on me.

I discuss Michael’s passing (which you should go over there and read about), its effects on me, why I decided to keep going with his stories as best I could and get at least a few of them out there, and a bit about how frustrating it was to write for a few years after Michael died.

Then I got into the nitty gritty about what it’s like to write now:

But as I started writing again, I realized something. I am a verbal processor. I need to talk my stories out with someone who wants to hear about it. And since Michael died, I really haven’t had that. Though I do have some very good friends who will let me bend their ears on occasion, they are working writers. They are doing more in the field than I am currently, and I don’t want to be a millstone around their necks.

(And yes, I listen to them. Of course I do. But that’s not the point.)

With Michael, I knew if I made mistakes, he’d fix them. Or he’d show me where I’d made mistakes, and I’d fix them myself. I had more confidence in going to write on a day I had little energy (as I have battled lifelong health issues), because if I screwed up on a name or made an unnecessary tense-shift, he’d catch it. So I could relax and create.

Those were the good old days.

And I discuss what I try to do now to get around what I call “Life, Interrupted.” I write prose notes on days I can’t do anything else. I think a lot about my stories (I didn’t say this at Deborah’s blog, but I hope it’s implied in subtext). And I do my best to keep my husband Michael uppermost in my mind on the worst of days, because he believed in me — and dammit, if he could believe in me, so can I.

I do hope you will read the rest of the essay. It’s about 1400 words long, so I only excerpted a little bit of it here to whet your whistle.

For other widows and widowers out there, or those touched by tragedy in other ways who are struggling, know that your life can continue. It is frustrating, difficult, sometimes exasperating, but you can keep creating if you make the effort. It won’t be the same — it can’t be the same — but you don’t have to lose all of yourself when your spouse dies.

It took me a while to learn this. But now that I have, my hope is that I can help others along the way.

My Conversational Interview Is Up at Deborah J. Ross’s Blog…

Folks, I mentioned this a few weeks ago…every week, Deborah J. Ross, the editor of the forthcoming REALMS OF DARKOVER, is posting an interview on Wednesdays. So far, she’s interviewed Rosemary Edghill, Marella Sands, and Shariann Lewitt…and now, it’s my turn.

Because I’m a contrary sort (and I admit it, too), I wrote up my interview in a different way, or as I described it:

When Deborah J. Ross, esteemed editor of Realms Of Darkover, asked me a few interview questions, I asked her a question in return: “Could I write my answers in conversational style instead?” She told me to go for it, thus, here I am.

Now, what is my interview about? It’s about my character Fiona n’ha Gorsali, Darkover’s first female judge, and one of the most powerful judges ever in the history of Darkover. While Darkover’s creator, Marion Zimmer Bradley, introduced Fiona in THE SHATTERED CHAIN many years ago, she never did anything with Fiona n’ha Gorsali…and thus, when asked for a story concept, I decided to figure out how the powerful Courts of Arbitration had been reconciled to accepting a female Renunciate judge as one of its members.

Or, as I said in the conversational interview:

When I sat down to write a story for Stars Of Darkover, I decided early on that I wanted to find out more about Fiona. What had happened to put her on the Courts of Arbitration in the first place? So I wrote “At the Crossroads,” that showed how Fiona was able to forge a consensus with highborn, lowborn, and Terranan included. Surely something that unusual would warrant that remarkable individual being placed on the Courts of Arbitration, Renunciate or no…and so it transpired.

Then, when Gifts Of Darkover came around, I decided to write about Fiona’s parents in “A Problem of Punishment.” I knew her mother’s name was Gorsali, and that she was a Renunciate; I figured that Fiona’s father must’ve been a judge before her. But who was this man, Dominic macAnndra? As he hazily introduced himself, I found a man of courage and conviction—and also a man who fell in love at first sight, during a conflict, with his eventual freemate (wife), Gorsali.

You might be wondering what else was left to write about…well, it’s simple. What about Fiona’s childhood?

So, I talked about my newest story about Fiona, which is called “Fiona, Court Clerk in Training,” and features Fiona at the ripe old age of thirteen, and a bit of her parents and their quite solid marriage, besides.

I had a lot of fun writing about Fiona as a thirteen-year-old, and I hope readers will enjoy my story, too.

So…if I’ve intrigued you (and I surely hope I have), hop on over and check out my entire takeover–er, conversational interview! — at Deborah J. Ross’s blog.

News: REALMS OF DARKOVER Is Now Available for Pre-Order!

Folks, I have good news to share.

First, REALMS OF DARKOVER — the latest in the long-running Darkover anthology series, started by Marion Zimmer Bradley and continued by Deborah J. Ross — is now available for pre-order! (It’s due to be released in May of 2016.)

Second, Ms. Ross, editor of REALMS OF DARKOVER, has a new interview up over at her blog today featuring Shariann Lewitt. Ms. Lewitt’s story in REALMS is called “Tainted Meat,” and features owls. (Yes, owls.)

Do go read the interview, will you?

Third, this interview series will include Rosemary Edghill and Rebecca Fox next week (on 3/9/2016), Marella Sands the following week (3/16/2016), then yours truly on 3/23/2016. More authors are scheduled after that, and I do plan to let everyone know when the newest interviews are available.

I’m proud to be a part of REALMS OF DARKOVER, and I hope you’ll enjoy reading the various author interviews as they are published.

Otherwise, in case you missed it, I have a new guest blog up at the Opinionated Man’s  WordPress blog and also at his personal blog. It’s about A LITTLE ELFY IN BIG TROUBLE, and gives a longer blurb, plus links to the sample chapters and the three places it’s available… the hope is, maybe this will extend my reach a little and aid in “discoverability” (that is, having readers discover I’m out here, and that my writing might intrigue them).

Granted, this whole notion of discoverability often seems mythical, considering. But I’ve been doing what I can to raise my profile, in the hopes that one day soon, people who don’t know me will enjoy my work. (I want people who do know me to enjoy my work, too, mind…but there are a whole lot more out there who might just like the Elfyverse, if they but know it exists.)

Anyway, happy Wednesday, folks! (Now go read the interview with Ms. Lewitt, then go find the guest blog I did if you haven’t read it already.)

New Review Up at SBR, and my Writing Journey Continueth…

Folks, before I forget, go read my review of Deborah J. Ross’s epic fantasy THE SEVEN-PETALED SHIELD. (You’ll be glad you did.)

Why did I want to start with that? Well, it’s rare to see a strong, yet quiet and scholarly woman as the heroine of an epic fantasy. Yet Tsorreh, heroine of THE SEVEN-PETALED SHIELD, is exactly that — and I loved reading about her.

In fact, I enjoyed reading about her so much that I delayed reviewing THE SEVEN-PETALED SHIELD for several months. I was afraid I would not do justice to it, because when you reduce the plot to its bare bones, it sounds like many other epic fantasy novels.

But it’s nothing like them. It isn’t predictable (except that Tsorreh’s son Zevaron is young, impetuous, and you want to kick some sense into him, but isn’t that the way of younglings everywhere?). It’s quite spiritual. And the writing, editing, and presentation of Tsorreh’s journey is so good that I wasn’t sure anything I said would come close to matching it.

I don’t often feel quite this overawed by fiction, mind. (Not even by someone with the stature and longevity of Deborah J. Ross in the field of science fiction and fantasy.) In fact, me feeling like this is quite rare…and I wasn’t sure what to do about it.

Anyway, I’ve now reviewed it over at Shiny Book Review (SBR for short, as always), and I even wrote a review (a different one, earlier this evening) over at Amazon. I think very highly of this book, and I hope that if you like my work and trust in what I say, you’ll give it a try. (Trust me — it’s different. And it’s even better than my words have made it out to be.)

Now, as for my writing journey?

Most of you know that I’m going to put out my late husband Michael B. Caffrey’s Columba Chronicles again. (They were briefly available in 2010 and into 2011 via E-Quill Publishing in Australia.) But I realized on my re-reads that there was more that needed to be added.

It’s kind of like what I’ve tried to do with Michael’s military science fiction. I know there is more to the story. I try to add it, and remain faithful to Michael’s words; then, as I feel more confident, I write in Michael’s milieu and do what I think he’d do if he were still alive. (Or at least what I want to do, because I believe he’d trust me enough to know what that is.)

So right now, I plan to write a story about Cat, Columba’s husband the shapechanger. (We find out about Cat and his unusual courtship of Columba in the “Columba and the Cat” novella, available now.) I’ve called this “The Quest for Columba,” and I’m even mentioning it in the “coming soon” part of all of the novellas currently out there (including the two earliest, “A Dark and Stormy Night,” and “On Westmount Station“).

You see, I figure Cat’s story is vital to understanding why he went after Columba in the first place. Michael only hints at it. But I know how he worked, and I think he would’ve written about it if he’d only had time.

There also was another story on the way that Michael did not get a chance to finish called “Columba and the Cromlech.” I have tried a few times over the past several years to get into that. My problem was always that I didn’t completely get where Cat was coming from, and because of that, I only could write Columba. (And my version of Columba was always a little more in-your-face than Michael’s.)

However, once I finish “The Quest for Columba,” I think I will again turn my attention to “Columba and the Cromlech,” and will have a much better idea as to where that story is going.

That being said, my version of the second story Michael wrote, “Columba and the Crossing,” will be different than the version E-Quill Publishing put out in 2010. I’m adding in more romance, as I think it’s needed — Michael left a lot in subtext, and I think at least some of it needs to be brought out.

Furthermore, I’ve gotten much better at matching Michael’s writing style even though it’s a thousand times different than mine. And because of that, I feel far more confident in adding my own touches. I knew my husband very well, and I believe that he would want me to do this — since he’s not able to bring these stories to their complete fruition, I believe he’d trust me enough to add what I know must be there.

Maybe this sounds strange to you. Perhaps it is strange. I haven’t a clue as to how other writers do this, though I’ve read what Brandon Sanderson said about his collaboration with Robert Jordan (facilitated by his widow the editor), I’ve read what Ursula Jones said about collaborating with her sister Diana Wynne Jones after the latter passed away, and I’ve done my best to figure out what these authors did and why they did it after the fact.

But no one has collaborated with their deceased spouse when neither of them was well-known. That means there’s no road map to what I’m doing, and no one can give me much in the way of advice other than “Trust yourself” or “You’re a better writer than you think” or even “Michael trusted you, so why can’t you believe in yourself more than this?”

All of these things are good to hear, mind. (Don’t get me wrong about this.) And I have listened.

Still, this is my path. I chose it years ago after Michael unexpectedly passed on. I didn’t know how I would do it, but I said I would find a way — and I am.

I only hope that readers will enjoy what I’m doing, and know that there’s a method to my madness. Because I really believe that Michael would be trying to do exactly what I’m doing…even though I can’t prove it.

Deborah J. Ross Interviewed Me About My Story in “Gifts of Darkover”…and It’s Up!

Folks, I’m absolutely ecstatic that author and editor Deborah J. Ross interviewed me regarding my story, “A Problem of Punishment,” which is included in GIFTS OF DARKOVER. This is my second-ever story in the Darkover universe, and I was very happy to talk about it with Ms. Ross.

Note that my first was in STARS OF DARKOVER, and explains just how and why the first-ever Renunciate judge, Fiona n’ha Gorsali (introduced as a very minor player in THE SHATTERED CHAIN by Darkover series originator Marion Zimmer Bradley), was appointed to the powerful Courts of Arbitration in the first place.

Here’s a bit from my interview with Ms. Ross about my second story:

What inspired my story in Gifts Of Darkover was this: how did Fiona’s parents meet? What was her father Dominic, who I already knew had been a judge before her, really like? And what had made Gorsali fall in love with him, and he with her? A romantic story of a smart man and an accomplished woman against the background of the Hellers appealed to me, especially since they fell in love prior to the Terranan returning to Darkover and didn’t have many role models that would’ve helped them out.

I think you’ll enjoy “A Problem of Punishment” in GIFTS OF DARKOVER. It’s a romantic adventure about a Darkovan judge and the Renunciate he must help rescue. I wrote it because they’re the parents of Fiona n’ha Gorsali, and I wanted to know how they’d fallen in love and created her.

Note that I’m not yet done with Fiona’s life and career. I hope to write another story about her soon, this one about her childhood — because her father, the judge, is why she became a judge…there’s a story there, and I want to tell it!

GIFTS OF DARKOVER is out today…tell your friends, and enjoy the book!

STARS OF DARKOVER Is Out

Folks, a while back, I told you about selling a story, “At the Crossroads,” to Deborah J. Ross and Elisabeth Waters for the newest Darkover anthology, STARS OF DARKOVER.

Then I told you about being interviewed by Ms. Ross regarding my participation in the anthology — more about why I wrote “At the Crossroads” and my main character, the Renunciate judge Fiona n’ha Gorsali.

Now I get to tell you something even better: STARS OF DARKOVER is now out as an e-book!

So if you’ve been missing your daily dose of Darkover — and really, if you’re a long-time reader of fantasy, who hasn’t? — take a gander at STARS OF DARKOVER. There are plenty of great stories there from writers like Ms. Ross herself, Rosemary Edghill, yours truly, Leslie Fish, Shariann Lewitt, and many, many more!

So don’t delay. Go to Amazon and get yourself a copy right now. (How’s that for a shameless plug?)

Deborah J. Ross Interviewed Me Regarding My “Stars of Darkover” Story…and It’s Up

Folks, a while back, Deborah J. Ross asked me — and all the other writers with stories included in the newest Darkover anthology, STARS OF DARKOVER, which will be out in June — a series of questions. I sent them back to her, and she told me the interview would be up sometime in May.

Late last week, she wrote to me and said the interview was scheduled, and could I please spread the news far and wide?

Of course, I told her. I’ll be glad to do it.

Now, the interview is up over at her blog . . . and I do hope you’ll read it. I discussed a little bit about my story, “At the Crossroads,” and the story’s main character, Judge Fiona n’ha Gorsali, along with the three ways Marion Zimmer Bradley influenced me — one was through her writing, one was because my late husband Michael knew one of Ms. Bradley”s sons (I’m not sure which one, but I’m guessing it was probably her eldest due to the time-frame) and Michael told me that Ms. Bradley had been very encouraging to him when she didn’t have to be, and finally, the last way is because Rosemary Edghill has been my mentor for a few years now…and Rosemary worked with MZB on the Light series (WITCHLIGHT, GRAVELIGHT, GHOSTLIGHT, and HEARTLIGHT).

I haven’t ever been interviewed before. I’ve always been the one doing the interviewing, actually . . . so this was a brand-new experience.

Let me know what you think of my first-ever interview, will you?

By the way, in other news, the second half of ELFY — which I’m sure will be re-titled soon, one way or another — has been turned in to my publisher, Lida Quillen of Twilight Times Books.

What does this mean in practical terms?

Well, it means I’ve done everything I possibly can do. Now it’ll go to my editor. In a few weeks, I’ll probably have the file back and will make any changes required.

This means I still have a shot to get the second half of ELFY out by late October, if all goes well. So that’s a good thing.

Aside from that, I continue to write, edit, and comment . . . and watch the Milwaukee Brewers play baseball games, of course. (I’ll probably be writing about them again soon. But time is short and it’s had to go toward other things.)