A Crisis of Conscience…(Mass Shootings Commentary)

Folks, I haven’t written anything in the past few weeks, and I’m sorry about that. I’ve been dealing with a number of things, and have been too scattered to put words down on the page. In addition, most of what I have to say seems old-hat, trite, or like something I’ve said three thousand times before.

Yet with the two most recent public mass shootings (one in El Paso, TX; the other in Dayton, OH), I feel I have to respond.

My own crisis of conscience, in other words, can wait. There’s a much bigger one going on in the United States as a whole, and I need to try to address it, while I still can.

First: I am frustrated. Angry. Enraged. And heartbroken.

These shootings did not have to happen. These people didn’t have to be injured or killed. And this weekend didn’t have to be marred by senseless violence, yet again.

Second: Here’s what I think will happen in the coming days.

(Crickets.)

Or, in other words, as I saw on Facebook: “Politicians send out thoughts and prayers. Facebook devolves into flame wars. Everyone forgets. And the same thing happens again.” (And again. And still, yet again.)

This is possibly the best way I’ve seen to sum up what’s been going on in the United States for the past several years with regards to mass shootings.

And that is flat-out unacceptable. We stay in the same place. More people die for no reason. And nothing gets done.

It’s wrong. And while I have no idea what the Hell to do about it — see below — I feel I must at least point out how frustrated, enraged, angry, upset, hurt, and heartbroken I am that other Americans have died because of two madmen. (As per usual at my blog, I will not name either shooter.)

And while I do think it’s a “mental illness problem” as much as anything else — I’ve said so, even, before — I don’t know what to do about this anymore.

Me saying I hate it does nothing.

Me begging my legislators for common-sense solutions has done no good.

Me trying to ask if there’s anything non-governmental entities (i.e., charities and the like) can do anything to put a stop to this has also done no good.

And yet, the killing goes on and on.

It drives me crazy that we have people in this country who think so little of others that they’ll go shoot up a Wal-mart, just because. (As in El Paso, TX.) Or they’ll go shoot up a bar scene in Dayton at night, just because.

Before my Hillary Clinton advocate-friends chime in, I am well aware that the first gunman was a white nationalist/racist. But while that shows his mental processes were, shall we say, unformed and ignorant, that does not explain why he picked Saturday as his day to shoot up a Wal-mart.

And do I think that was domestic terrorism? You bet it was. But I think every single one of these mass shootings has been a form of domestic terrorism, going back to the shootings at Columbine High School in Colorado.

These gunmen are all marginalized souls who can’t see the forest for the trees, and they hold their own lives so cheaply, it means nothing to take others. That much is certain.

But again, what can I do about it? Nothing I do or say does any good. And it’s so frustrating, to sit here, impotent, unable to do anything whatsoever to bring healing or hope or anything other than rage to the situation.

Because we have more than enough rage already, thanks.

What we need now, somehow, is for our legislators to work with doctors and nurses and those in law enforcement and come up with something that will actually help reduce the amount of mass shootings in this country. But how we get that done in a super-polarized political climate is beyond me.

So, all I can say is what I’ve said before: I feel terrible that more good people have died for no reason. And I wish we could all come together and work out something that would do some good, rather than just continuing to let this fester…as letting it fester is obviously doing no good whatsoever.

Suzy Favor Hamilton Opens Up About her Call-Girl Experiences, Being Bipolar

Folks, I am stunned.

Suzy Favor Hamilton, who I wrote about back in 2012 after the story broke that she’d become a high-priced Las Vegas escort, was interviewed by Elizabeth Vargas last night on ABC’s 20/20 news program. (Here is an article about the show from ABC News.) I watched this online, and was riveted. Not by the admission that she’d had sex with five guys in one night (though that didn’t surprise me much; if you’re an escort, you do what you’re paid to do), but because it appears being bipolar and being misdiagnosed sent her into her double life and downward spiral in the first place.

But let me unpack that a little.

Suzy Favor Hamilton is now 47. She’s still the best female runner to ever come out of the state of Wisconsin, and one of the best female athletes the United States has ever had. She’s a three-time Olympian, had multiple endorsements because of her good looks and running success, and, according to the story on 20/20, major anxiety issues.

Unbeknownst to anyone, Favor Hamilton also had bipolar disease. At the time, she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and thought her problems were solved. But the antidepressants that were given to her made her hypersexual, more willing to try risky behaviors — and isn’t becoming a high-priced escort the epitome of risky behavior?

Anyway, Favor Hamilton’s husband continues to stand by her, and I don’t understand why. (Neither does Vargas, who asked him point-blank why he’d stayed. Mr. Hamilton admitted he didn’t know why; he just did.) He is obviously an incredibly patient man, insofar as he’s stayed with his wife as she’s endured many ups and downs — most particularly this last, major scandal of being exposed as a high-priced Las Vegas escort.

(Even though I don’t understand it, more power to him. I hope their marriage will survive. But I digress.)

Look. I know many people with anxiety, depression, and even bipolar disorders. But I hadn’t any idea that being bipolar could make you do anything close to how Favor Hamilton behaved…that it could make you hypersexual to the degree that you could sleep with five men in a night, and still want more, is much more information than any doctor has ever told me (or any of my friends with bipolar disorder, either).

So just by being willing to discuss what she did before being properly diagnosed as bipolar, Favor Hamilton has done a great service.

Favor Hamilton has written a book called FAST GIRL, a play on words that makes perfect sense. In her book, she discusses her mental illness, along with what Vargas called her “scandalous life in Vegas” (my best paraphrase, as I don’t have a transcript). And she also has gone further, discussing what she’s done since to heal herself and her marriage, including moving to California, being honest with herself about her health and her personal needs, and much, much more.

As sportswriter Christine Brennan said during the 20/20 episode, what Favor Hamilton is doing today in discussing her bipolar disorder and all the things that she did until it was properly diagnosed is possibly the best thing Favor Hamilton has ever done.

While I’m still shocked that anyone with the looks, brains, and money that Favor Hamilton had would ever become an escort, I’m glad that Favor Hamilton has healed. She’s become an advocate for mental illness along with physical fitness, and it seems to me that she’s doing all she can to rebuild her life.

More power to her.

Adam Lanza’s Father Finally Speaks . . .

In a new article in the New Yorker, writer Andrew Solomon discusses Adam Lanza with one of the very few people who knew him well — his father, Peter Lanza.

Now, why is this significant? Well, no one’s sure why Adam Lanza killed twenty-six children at Sandy Hook Elementary School to this day, and despite what we’ve learned about Adam Lanza over the past year-plus, we possibly never will know, either.

But at least Peter Lanza knew his son, Adam, and can discuss Adam’s mental illness and other issues . . . which is probably why Mr. Lanza consented to be interviewed by Andrew Solomon in the first place.

I wrote about the Sandy Hook school shooting back in December of 2012, and at that time asked the basic question: Why did this happen?

As I said at the time:

I normally have sympathy for the mentally ill, even severely mentally ill types like it sounds like the latest shooter, Adam Lanza, probably was. (And I’m decidedly not talking about his Asperger’s Syndrome; I’m talking about the behavioral issues he’d have likely had whether he had AS or not.) But in this case, I can find no mercy in my heart for him — far less mercy than one of the parents of the victims, Robbie Parker, who’s already expressed sympathy for the surviving family members of Adam Lanza.

Mr. Parker is a far better person than I.

My focus is elsewhere, because I just do not understand why any responsible parent, such as Nancy Lanza has been described, would ever allow a troubled young man like her son to get a hand on any of her guns.

Much less teach him to shoot them herself, as it appears she did.

What Peter Lanza has done by consenting to an interview by Mr. Solomon in the New Yorker is to answer that question — why did Nancy Lanza teach her son to shoot in the first place? And why did she seemingly enable her son to withdraw into his own violent fantasy world rather than get him treatment?

In addition, Mr. Lanza also discusses many, many other things. He believes that his son Adam would’ve gladly shot him, too, if Adam had had the chance . . . a tremendously sad thing for any father to say about his own son. And he discusses why he thinks Nancy Lanza, his ex-wife, took the odd approach of laissez-faire parenting on the one hand with over-the-top enablement on the other, too, and through writer Solomon comes to a somewhat healing conclusion that perhaps this was just the best Nancy Lanza knew how to do.

The eight-page article in the New Yorker is well worth reading, if you haven’t seen it already (again, the link is here), but it is unsettling.

I’m glad Peter Lanza, Adam’s father, has spoken. I’m glad he was able to shed some light on things from his perspective.

I know that speaking must’ve been difficult for Mr. Lanza. I applaud him for doing it, and hope it will help others in some way.

But it’s a sad, sad commentary when a father says of his own son, “I wish he’d never been born.”

Especially when it’s true.